Twitter Me Kaybee

After months of working at this technology-focused bloggging group with a bunch of internet freaks, I was finally coerced into joining Twitter. For those of you as generally web-app retarded as I am, Twitter is a social networking site where you slap up a profile that consists of a miniscule blurb about who you are/what you do, and a picture. That's it. No fluff about your favorite movies or about how your hero is white paint or your favorite quote from Socrates. Pretty much the bare essentials.

Next, you start following people. No, really. Following. Which is kind of creepy in the sense that "Joe Nobody (Read: complete stranger) is following you" but not so paranoia-inducing in the sense that "you have 127 followers" (Yes!! I am a GOD!!).

The whole idea of Twitter is that you post updates of yourself - what you're doing, random epiphanies, etc. AND you get updates to your phone or email every time someone you're following says something new as well. It's like a giant social gathering where you get past how someone looks and their awkward social eccentricities and it's cut down exactly to how they communicate themselves in 140-character clips.

Now, I'll admit it...when I first started twittering, I would try to carefully compose clever little excerpts to demonstrate my formidable command of the English language. Then reality set in. I don't really speak English.

Just kidding. I actually demonstrated myself to be remarkably absent-minded with regard to text messages. I would be chatting with some friend over text message, someone would twitter at me, I would hit "reply" and text the entire twittering world whatever message I ACTUALLY meant to go to whomever I was talking to. Awkward and weird? Yes. Everyone got to know how I was guilt-tripped into actually GOING to my parents' house for my mom's birthday. Even scarier? The little box that pops up when you remove a twitter from your profile that tells you "There is NO undo". Once twittered, never undone. SHIT. Also, I would attempt to reply to some clever twitter at 6 am when I was still 96% asleep and text some completely nonsensical run-on fragment to reaffirm how illiterate I am when unconscious.

Thusly, I decided it was probably better for everyone if I just didn't twitter anymore. But I couldn't bring myself to completely burn the bridge. It's a little heartwarming when you wake up to six text messages describing what your friends are thinking/feeling/doing at the moment. I really like getting updates of the goings-on....it's the laziest way ever to still feel like you're "in touch" with someone while not actually speaking with them.

So if you're lazy, have unlimited text messaging or spend all your time in front of a computer screen, and would like to experience a false sense of popularity, maybe Twitter is for you.

No, really, it's cool.

http://twitter.com