Constant overstimulation numbs me...

...but I would not want you any other way.

Is anyone else as obsessed with Tool as I am? Especially one of my all-time favorite songs, Stinkfist? Structurally, this song is not particularly complicated or ground-breaking (nothing on the level of Lateralus, which is organized based on the Fibonacci sequence). The lyrics are what make this song special, and incredibly important to me.



TOOL - "Stinkfist"
Something has to change.
Undeniable dilemma.
Boredom's not a burden
Anyone should bear.

Constant over stimulation numbs me
but I would not want you
any other way.

It's not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I don't want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Finger deep within the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Relax, turn around and take my hand.

I can help you change
Tired moments into pleasure.
Say the word and we'll be
Well upon our way.

Blend and balance
Pain and comfort
Deep within you
Till you will not want me any other way.

It's not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I don't want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Knuckle deep inside the borderline.
This may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to.
Relax. Slip away.

Something kinda sad about
the way that things have come to be.
Desensitized to everything.
What became of subtlety?

How can this mean anything to me
If I really don't feel anything at all?

I'll keep digging till
I feel something.

Elbow deep inside the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Shoulder deep within the borderline.
Relax. Turn around and take my hand.


I come from a background of experimentation, rebellion, and constantly pushing my limits to the edge to find out who I am. Switched high schools twice, been to rehab twice, always having family problems, always dating the scandalous guy. Now I'm taking a semester off from school to take a breath, step back and figure out who the f**k I am and what the f**k I'm doing before I screw up my education, and my life. I know exactly what Maynard James Keenan is talking about when he sings "this may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to".

Stinkfist can be interpreted a couple different ways. First is the obvious graphic 'fisting' analogy toward desensitization, the reason why some of the lyrics were censored for radio and MTV. I think about it differently - the borderline Keenan sings about is your own personal limitation: what you will and will not stand, getting closer and closer to the edge of what will actually kill you. Throughout the song, you push yourself farther into the magnetic black hole vortex that is claiming your knuckle, finger, elbow, shoulder...and eventually your soul. You know that it's terrible, that you're hurting yourself and everyone around you, but still you can't pull yourself away. When I was doing drugs, I gave up more and more of my life and myself to the drug. It started innocently, with just a little bit every once in a while. But drugs really will steal your soul away: you get more intoxicated, more in love. You build a tolerance so you have to take in more just to feel anything. Eventually, with addiction to a drug, you have to take so much to get the same high that your body can't handle it, and you "relax, slip away..."

Some people can do drugs purely recreationally. Snort a line, smoke a bowl, play some pong, have some fun. For me, it was a search to feel something - anything. Once I got started I just took and took, selfishly - all that I could get. "It's not enough/I need more/ nothing seems to satisfy/ I don't want it/ I just need it/ to breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive...How can this mean anything to me if I really don't feel anything at all? I'll keep digging till I feel something".

That was a dark, confused, complicated time for me. It was scary, and painful, and I would never choose to go back. I gave/lost a fucking part of myself that I will never get back. As bad as it was, I learned a lot... The reason why I love "Stinkfist" so much is because it reminds me of what I learned about myself and other people, and how much I DON'T want to get back there. Ever.




Isn't it crazy how a song can embody so much of your life?